2014 and thoughts for the new year!

I took more than a year off from here. From writing, coming here and looking at the number of likes or followers I have received. I just took a break from it all. There have been days when I have opened WordPress and started at a blank page, waiting for words; words to form sentences; sentences that would beautifully string together and express what I felt, I saw and experienced. Needless to say, those words and sentences never came together. I Would give up my futile attempt and head back to reality, where someone or something required my attention.

Nevertheless, 2014 was kind to me. It took me home, knocked me down and gave me opportunities to pick up the pieces and move on. It also drilled into me what I had forgotten,’what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’ and stronger did i become the last few months. It taught me that I am who I am and I and I need to live my life by the rules that I had once set for myself. It also gave me a chance to understand that sometimes you need to let go of self doubt and fear to create a path for yourself.

This past year gave me an opportunity to pursue two things that I am passionate about dance and baking. There has been nothing more liberating than realising that I am good at it and there is nothing more than being on stage that brings out the better of me. When I thought that is all that I could be better at, I found myself covered knee, hands, face deep in butter, sugar, flour, eggs and all things rich and decadent three days a week full time.I learnt patience, need to shower care and love into every dough, cake or sweet treats that you make. I realised that a dough is a living thing. It responds to love, warmth, patience and the opportunity to grow and turn into something wonderful. A dough taught me that relationships are like that it needs all these things to grow and be what it needs to be. I had to value my life, my being and those in my life to see relationships blossom and be what they are meant to be. I needed to stop breathe and inject some of this learning into my life and my relationships.

So as we have wrapped bu 2014, I look forward to the new year, there are goals and desires that I hope to achieve. I hope to find God’s love and guidance as the new year unfolds. I hope the next 364 days will show me the paths that are for me to travel, I hope to be courageous and adventurous and to live life by my rules.

here is hoping that the NEW Year brings all things positive and the courage to face challenges that the year and days bring.

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good bye Chennai…and hello Sydney!

This post should have been up long time ago! It’s been lying in my drafts for almost a month now. The packing and shifting had taken a toll on me, i was stressed, angry, sad and ill and missed not having my husband see me through this. But here I am now in Sydney. Living in a city where at the max 4 people know me and craving for a masala/podi dosa along with a hot cup of filter kappi that reminded me that this post was lying in my drafts.

This one’s for all the people that miss.. family and friends and good ol’ Chennai/Madras 🙂

How..how is it that I am going to pack 10 wonderful years in this city into three suitcases? 😦

The more i think about it the grief sets in for the amount I have cribbed about wanting to leave now , more or less every bit of me wanting to cling on to good ol’ Madras.I have vivid memories of this city from my first trip, when Alsa Mall, Cisons Complex, Fountain Plaza were popular hangouts along with Spencers.I dnt remember when I chose this city but somehow think it was viceversa…otherwise 10 years here and i still would love to call it home! 🙂

As I write this flashes of 10 years whiz by right in front of my eyes.

A few weeks from now, its going to be a completely new city; where the streets have no names,where I am not going to bump into people I know,where pujari’s are not going to zip past me on their mopeds,the horrible traffic jams when it rains, the beach,the icecream session late at nite on the beach and the familiarity that the known brings,I know i’d miss. The narcissit me 😉 would miss being stopped by strangers who ask what kajal pencil i use, or that my face looks familiar and if i do advertisments etc. (Now you know y i call myself narcissit :P). I would miss passing by college and start my stories about the place like it is a historical monument!I have had people asking me to shut up only coz they could replay every story of mine 🙂 i would miss arguing with the husband as to who knows the city better and the desperate fights to prove I am right.:)

I will miss places that have never disappointed my foodie cravings, i would miss homes that gave me more than food and bed,the open terrace, loads of love and warmth that the lonely girl in the city never felt she was far away from home. I love this city for the landmark moments of my life..the first outings, the first time i fell in love, the lesson learnt from heartbreaks,for people who saw me through when i thought the heartbreak would kill me and most importantly the person who was only a call away.For bangalore weekends that were extra special,the crazy ass almost blind date at Infinitea :), the music, the food and for being a friend who never once judged me with shortcoming et all accepted me 🙂

I’ll miss my workplace for the crazy parties, friends who made work fun, the wednesday nights, the lunch sessions, the photography sessions..the place that kept sane and insane 🙂 I love the fact that if it werent for this job i wouldn have met my better half! I would miss the view from my desk..the lazy dog and the sweet baby who are part of the daily routine.. i dnt know them but yet again the familiar scenes brings a comfort that i am about to give up. I will miss night stays and the friends who were part of it..the startling discoveries, the laughter , the dance classes. The ups and downs, the bajao session by bosses,the clients, the media all of it. The friends i have, the fun I had,the awakward moment when the friend was desperately trying to get the opposite person interested in her client’s work and all he did was talk to me 🙂 I have memories of a crazy valentine’s day of eating vada pav in Sowcarpet and taking a drive down to Marina beach to shoot ballons 🙂

Lastly, i will miss my first house..my own that i set up.. from choosing curtains to buying each and everything it pains the most taking it all down.There things to which i m extremely attached, every memory that comes to life when i am giving off my things.

It hurts but then you have to let go of the old to make new memories… its something unpredictable that lies ahead..but in the end its right and i hope I have the time of my life.It’s going to test every skill that i possess. A new place, a new culture, new faces to be friends with while the old ones will still stay fresh in my memory.The fear of not being able to close my eyes and give directions..i’ll miss that.

Like someone told me a few days ago “what would we do without memories” .. i have truck loads of them i can flip through, play each one over and over and be thankful for the people that crossed my path if it werent for that wuld i have so much to look back at? 🙂

till we meet again 🙂 to old and new memories! Cheers!~